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Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Mothers-in-law.

Mothers-in-Law law are often the butt of so many comedians jokes, sometimes, quite unfairly. There are a lot of good alternative comediennes around but I've yet to hear any of them berating their husband's or partner's mothers.
Why is this I wonder?

Is it because we 'girls ' stand together as the Sisterhood and believe that we are beyond reproach, or, is it because men feel threatened, often by three adult women, influencing their lives; ie. wife, own mother and, mother-in-law?

I have had two Mothers-in Law. The first was a 'She devil from Hell' and the second was absolutely lovely, most of the time, (after all nobody's perfect)!

As I am a Mother-in-law to two Sons-in law, I know I am treading on dangerous territory, but, apart from the occasional, faux paux, usually committed by me when I am trying to be 'Wonder Woman' and getting stressed, particularly when entertaining so many , when they all come to stay at the same time,
I feel we have a good relationship.

I have a great deal of love and respect for them both, so, I dearly hope this is reciprocated. I shall be eternally grateful for my beautiful Grandchildren. They are both good and loving husbands and fathers. I must also say, they are also good and kind to me, and of course, DT.

Which self respecting, Mother-in-law could ask for more......

Sadly, not in the case of my first Mother-in Law!
Oh dearie me no! The She Devil from Hell.

This woman left a trail of misery wherever she went.

I could write a book about the terrible things she did to me.
Her party piece was writing the most appalling poison pen letters to my friends and family, accusing me of being a prostitute, amongst other things.

All this was going on whilst her Son and I were planning to marry. At that time I was a member of the Church Choir and a Sunday School Teacher. Laughable really, but then, not so funny!
My family could have taken legal action against her, but as the wedding was looming, and they genuinely liked my husband-to-be, also, they were concerned for my future happiness, so, they chose not to.

The marriage lasted twelve years.....She got her own way in the end. Sadly, when her Son died last year they were not speaking, she even wrote him a nasty letter when he was so terribly ill. Needless to say, her Grandaughters havn't seen or spoken to her for 25 years. She tried to have them taken into care when I divorced her Son. She wrote one of her infamous poison pen letters to The Social Services, again, saying the most appalling things about me. I believe her ultimate plan was to get custody of them and then, have her Son live with her, together with the girls.This was never going to happen because She and her Son had a 'love-hate' relationship.

Oh boy! Did I stand up to her then.

The Social Worker who visited my home was delighted to meet us and assured me there was absolutely no chance of her carrying out her threats....particularly when I enlightened her with 'The She Devil's' previous form, re the 'letters and accusations'..Crazy Woman...In a way I feel sorry for her, she's missed so much.
She's well into her eighties now and lives alone, without any family or friends to care for her.

Now to Mother-in Law number two.....

Oh boy what a refreshing change...Dear Olive ...

From the day she and Jim (Grandpa DT), met me and The Girls, we were welcomed into the family with open arms.
Olive had the most infectious chuckle and used to say, when reminiscing about the first time she met the Girls,(they already had two lovely grandaughters), 'Yesterday we had two Grandaughters and today we've got five'.

When DT and I got engaged they were delighted and couldn't wait for the Wedding.
Olive used to visit my dear Mama when she was ill and housebound.
Sadly Granpa DT died a few months before we married but, on the day, Olive said, 'Jim is with us in spirit'.
She was a deeply religious lady but never attempted to inflict others with her religious views. It would not have mattered to me had she done so because I had so much respect for her.
Sadly she died many years ago, but she had a good and meaningful life, The Girls and I loved and respected her dearly.

I look forward to lots of comments, especially from my male blogging friends!