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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Jingle Bells

This little yarn is for my friend Welshcakes Limoncello, from the Siciliy Scene blog. She hasn't been too well of late so I hope it will make her chuckle!

As most of you know I come from the grand City of Liverpool. Sadly the City is often maligned by the media and anyone else who cares to jump on the bandwaggon.
How wrong they are!

Liverpool is a great and vibrant City.

We live in a lovely leafy suburb, surrounded by woodlands and verdant parklands, complete with lakes and gardens. Sefton Park has the magnificent Palm House, which was recently restored to it's former glory.

There are two things you can't take away from Liverpool people is their wonderful sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves.

Last year, at the beginning of December the local Rotary Club were carrying out the customary door to door collection on behalf of designated charities.
This is quite an event, complete with a large float on a flat back lorry, decked out with a Christmas Grotto Scene, with Santa and his Elves, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, who, of course, was at the front pulling them along in the sleigh.

All was going well until a 'boy racer' came hurtling along the road and crashed into the back of Santa's Sleigh...

Gracious me, what a kerfuffle..Poor Santa was knocked off his sleigh and ended up with Rudolph and the Elves on top of him.
Just as Santa was gathering himself together, the North Star on a six foot pole, attached to the heavily securred metal collection box, crashed down onto the hapless chap. Not to be daunted by his predicament, he lay on the ground laughing his head off.
Talk about seeing stars....he saw more than the North Star that night!
Rumour had it that he had been partaking in a little nip of Whisky or three, from his hip flask, hence his insensitivity to the situation!

He sustained bruised ribs and a broken leg and spent several days in Hospital.
Good job he had his hip flask...must have obliterated the pain.

Rudolph had to be 'put down' and the Elves were sent back to the Grotto for rest and recouperation.

The poor Santa in his 'day job' is a Health and Safety officer for the local council, or should I say 'Elf and Safety'....Ho ho ho !

43 comments:

  1. The woodlands and parklands sound wonderful :-)

    I didn't know being Santa was such a dangerous job!!!

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  2. Cherry Pie:
    They are Cherry pie.
    We live within a seven minute walk from Calderstones Park, which is quite lovely too.
    A ten minute drive will take us to Speke hall (NT) which, apart from the Hall, there are extensive gardens.
    I managed to cleverly delete some of my yarn, my PC threw a tantrum so I shall try to amend it!
    Thanks for dropping by...I still visit your site most days and do enjoy it.

    Di.x

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  3. see one more reason not to be santa! lol
    wish i would have been there...well maybe not, it wouldn't have been so funny perhaps thinking that people were harmed...but your yarn about it was humourous...
    you do make liverpool sound much better than it has been presented here...seems it may be a stop i may want to plan for, next time...

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  4. Hi Daisy: Good to hear from you..We all howled when we knew that Santa had fallen off his Sleigh...
    Naughty I know but don't we all laugh at somebody else's downfall?...I felt a bit guilty when I realised he had been injured, however he made a good recovery...I wonder who will be Santa this year...Watch this space!

    Should you visit Liverpool on your next visit, it would be wonderful to meet you. We'll show you the real Liverpool, not the grotty 'downtown' side that all major Cities have.

    Hope you are well and fully recovered from your big trip..Did you meet Hitch (Beast), I'd love to meet him, he sounds quite a character!

    Di.xx

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  5. trubes...this post reminded of when my brother fell down the stairs...it sounds really bad but it was so funny, the faces...the falling...he wasnt hurt and i know this because while i was laughing he started running after me to punch me in the arm for laughing at him...i still tease him about it...
    it would be lovely having you show me about the real liverpool...i shall have to plan something...hmmmm...
    yes i did meet hitch...he even wore the sweater i bought him and it looked looked just as i had planned it to...i had just a little problem when he was talking really fast (the accent had me at a small disadvantage) but for the most part you said it correctly, he is a character, and still a good friend to me...

    xx Lisa

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  6. Santa's a paedo. I'll never forgive him for what he did to me in the grotto.

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  7. Trubes..my fav bit of liverpool is only a few minutes from you...Allerton towers. It's alot less frequented than the parks....and if it ever snows..heaven.

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  9. Boy racer (stolen car?) - Santa hospitalised - Rudolph having the humane killer to the temple, elves laid off....

    Why are we not surprised to hear that it's Liverpool?

    Of course it is! Worra lorra laffs!

    Oops, musn't be beastly to Liverpool. Sorry Trubes. The idle maternal great-grandfather hailed from just across the water in Birkenhead and went on to great things in an eventful life.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Neilson

    if you are the slightest bit interested.

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  10. You're not all that far, in miles, from where I am.

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  11. hee hee that's funny. Shouldn't laugh at anothers injury but... elf n safety officer. hee hee hee

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  12. Hi Trubes, thx for your comment over at my place and to let me know you've a new post up.

    A sticky situation for Santa, for sure!

    I can hardly wait to come over for my trip to Wales and to pop over to Liverpool, too! Now I don't know if it'll be with my girl friend Cathy or with my new/old beau Lorne...he's Welsh, too. But I will certainly let you know when. *grinning a lot these days*

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  13. Excellent!

    My impression of Liverpool city centre was that it's a shame it hasn't been spruced up as Manchester and Brum have been. There are streets which look like they have been abandoned entirely. A great pity. I generally like Scousers, very welcoming and warm.

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  14. I believe the park in question is the same place some somali's killed each other in a knife fight in that same year a delightful place. I wouldn't go walking there after dark although during the day the paths are over run with joggers and the roads boy racers.

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  15. What a great pre- Xmas tale, Trubes and thank you so much for the dwedication. Still giggling at "elf and Safety"! xx

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  16. Electro: Well that explains a lot Kevin...I feel sorry for the poor little elves too!

    Thud: I forgot about Allerton Towers, I'm ashamed to say I hav'nt been there for a long time, will check it out at the weekend.

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  17. Idle: I checked out your Maternal Great Granpa and what interesting reading that makes. He acheived such a lot in his long life, a talented man indeed.

    Do you take after him I wonder?

    My Maternal Great Grandmother lived in Claughton Road Birkenhead as a child, I believe.

    I knew you wouldn't resist the temptation to tease me about Liverpool...
    I guess in your military days, when you were in command of the Platoon, manning the Green goddess Fire Tenders, you probably only saw the downside of the City and the 'Gobby Scousers'.

    When all the building work is completed in the City I intend to write a feature about it and the genuine, and decent people of Liverpool, not as I mentioned,
    the dense and illiterate 'Gobby Scousers, who let us down, every time they open their mouths!

    Di.xx

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  18. Hello James; Good to hear from you. I'm not sure where you live, are you going to tell?
    I imagine you to be a Secret Agent or even a Spy!
    Ooooh! I love a bit of intrigue.


    Di.x

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  19. Phillipa:
    Good to hear from you and I do hope you are bearing up under the strain of things.
    Glad you liked the 'pun about 'elf n safety', made me chuckle too!

    Di.xx

    Hi Leslie:
    Thanks for dropping by...Looking forward to meeting you next year. As I said to Daisy we will be delighted to show you around the real Liverpool. I promise you, you won't be disappointed!

    Di.xx

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  20. Hello Blue Eyes;
    Good to hear from you.
    As with most Cities one has to know where to go and when!
    We have many fine Buildings here, including Museums, Theatres, Restaurants and a grand Maritime History.

    Di.xx

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  21. Hello Monkey;
    Welcome to my site.
    Thankyou for your comments.
    Sadly, I think, that maybe, you are one of the people I was alluding to in my post.
    I would not walk through any park, anywhere, at night. It's a bad world we live in.

    Ah! The ubiquitous Boy Racers and Joggers; They too, are not unique to Liverpool.

    Di.

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  22. Hi Welshcakes:
    Glad you liked your 'Special Post'...
    Gee you've really hit the 'Big Time' now... Tee hee!

    'Elf and safety'...Do you know i don't know now whether I coined that little adage or maybe have seen it somewhere before... who cares...as long as it made you smile....Mission accomplished!

    Love Di.xx for Simi too xx.

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  23. Trubes, you want know what I have in common with great grandpa.

    I plan to enter Parliament as soon as possible, standing for the No Nonsense Party, which I will have to found.

    I can write, just about, but have been published only as a Racing Correspondent for newspapers.

    I can't write librettos but I am mustard at Limericks and Clerihews.

    I do not own a Rembrandt, however, nor can I afford to endow the choir and organ at Liverpool Cathedral.

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  24. Made me chuckle, hope WL did as well!!

    Sounds like a lovely place to live, I bet you have some lovely walks and beautiful colours in the Autumn.

    Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog, well done your son-in-law..:-) :-)

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  25. Sounds hilarious!! I've never been to Liverpool but that's nothing against it - I've hardly been north of London. A Cornish country bumpkin am I, though one of my best friends is froom Liverpool.

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  26. I'd love to visit Liverpool one day. I can't believe I have never been. I expect Santa will have lots more scrapes between now and Xmas Day.

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  27. Hello again Idle:
    Interesting about your Great Granpa and the connection with Liverpool Cathedral. I am an occasional attendee there.
    It is my favourite building in Liverpool.
    As a 13year old chorister I once had the honour of singing there, in a mass choir prduction of Moterverdi's Vespers.
    This was directed by Walter Ghoer; James Robertson Justice presented it for Radio 3.
    It is something that has stayed with me ever since!
    I do like Limericks but can't quite get my head around Clerihews.
    In fact, when I first started blogging I posted a limerick on your site, you may recall?
    My pseudonym was True Blue then.

    The idea of you starting your own political party is good....You could only do better than the present shower.

    Di.xx

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  28. Hi Flowerpot:
    Good to hear from you again, It was really hillarious and as we all laughed along with Santa nobody realised how badly he'd been injured, thankfully!
    We often visit Devon and Cornwall and I don't think I would seek out 'City Life', if I lived there.

    Many years ago my sister and her husband ran a lovely old Coaching Inn in Devon. The Beer was delivered on a Shire Horse drawn Dray Wagon. Ah...Happy days!

    Di.xx

    P.S. Hope you are feeling better.x

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  29. Hello Ellie:
    Good to hear from you. I'm not sure if we will have the same Santa this year..Rumour has it he has taken early retirement, on 'Elf' grounds...

    You must visit liverpool but wait a while until the Liverpool One Shopping project is complete.
    There is so much to see and do.

    Di.x

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  30. Anne in Oxfordshire:
    Hello Anne, Glad you liked my little dedication to Welshcakes.
    Yes, where we live is pleasant, not a gorgeous as Oxfordshire but as cities go, it isn't half as bad as some paint it!
    Said son-in-law from Bramley in Surrey just loves coming up to visit, as we love visiting them too.
    You know Anne, I truly believe that, there is a place for everyone in this World and we all have our own particular niche, in which to fit.

    Quite frankly, I would move to live in France tomorrow, if it were not for my darling Daughters and gorgeous little grandchildren.

    Di.x

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  31. Hiya Trubes!

    Sorry to be so late...

    Hilarious story - somehow the picture of you just about to poke the customary fiver in the tin, to the sound of screeching brakes, enraged bearded old men, clattering accoutrements and twittering elves, has lifted a rather downbeat morning already!

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  32. Hi Scrobs:
    Good to hear from you again.
    I think Santa is due to make an appearance soon. No doubt he will be wearing a seat belt after last year's fiasco!

    Hope all are well at Chez Scrobs.xx

    Di.x

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  33. Of course Liverpool is wonderful! A city that gave us the Beatles couldn't help but be. Memphis gave us Elvis and Liverpool gave us the Moptop Beatles...so I love your city by proxy, lol! I believe my friends Sarah and Mary are also from there...now I have 3 Liverpudlian pals!
    Sandi

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  34. Hello Sandi, lovely to hear from you and thank you for your kind comments about our fine City.

    Needless to say I am a great Beatles fan and saw them perform at the Cavern in the Sixies.
    They were just on the cusp of fame. I must do a post about those days.
    Although the Beatles share the hall of Fame, with many other entertainers from Liverpool, sadly, there are many more fine and distinguished people who barely get a mention.
    The media seem to be 'hell bent' on showing the negative side of the City, instead of showing the positive aspects!

    Hope you are well and are getting over the loss of your 'blogging buddy' Puss.
    My cat Chloe sits as my side quite often when I'm blogging....at present though she's zzzzzzng on her bed, or rather, my bed!


    Di.xx

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  35. OK! Found ya! Thanks for the directions.

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  36. Hi S.S. Nick:
    Glad you found me and welcome to the world of Trubes!
    I've put you on my 'favourites'so I can pop over to your site too!

    Di.x

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  37. Liverpool- Reminds me of when we went to the Cavern to stand in the place that the Beatles and other liverpool greats played.

    In those days the Long hairs were down stairs and the skin heads where up stairs. As I had a crew cut and construction boots. I fitted into both places.

    Jim Nagel had a hotel room just off the Train Station whilst I slept out on the street.
    I went walking up and down Lime
    Street in the middle of the night to see if I could find a lovely Maggie May to take me home for the night." But I got no takers. Not even a come on the the Whores on 7th avenue" I know the song comes from Paul Simon and is in New York.

    I enjoyed my stay in Liverpool. Thank you for the giving me a memory to draw on.

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  38. Hi Old Tarf:
    Good to hear from you. I'm so glad you got to the cavern,it was quite a place when I was a youngster.
    I saw the Beatles play when they had Pete Best as their drummer. He was a far better drummer than Ringo.
    Rumour had it that he was too popular with the 'girls' than the rest of the Beatles!

    So, OT you have actually walked the same ground as I have.(I don't mean Lime St. BTW!).

    Small world ain't it!

    Di.xx

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  39. Calfy has never forgiven me for lying about Santa. She thinks it was irresponsible parenting. She has a point. Hiya Trubes. Elby has a beautiful scar but is going stir crazy. Ready for Christmas? Not really. But I have a new roof and they start on the bathroom tomorrow...Gordo loves me because I am keeping the local economy going but he doesn't realise I am doing it because my little stash will be worthless in no time at all if the status quo persists...and I might need to let the house to a posse of Romanians and live in a van.. Love Lilx

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  40. Hi Lilith:
    Lovely to hear from you. I was so poor many years ago that I was tempted to tell 'the Girls' that Santa had died.
    Poor Elby, give him my love. I don't doubt he'll be running around like a two year old soon.
    Do hope he's resumed his culinary duties...ha!

    Di.xx

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  41. Unfortunately not, Trubes. It is all down to me. Nearly gave myself a hernia carrying the shopping the other day...

    I treated Calfy and Elby to a ready meal tonight as they have been long suffering and kind enough about my efforts to eat them.

    Pig has a girlfriend who takes him for walks (a spaniel collie cross called Poppy) when I am working, so he is pleased about that, but not so sure about the crutches.

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  42. Hello again Lils: Why don't you shop on-line? I use Ocado, they are brilliant...bit pricey... may as well spend me pension on a bit of good food eh.
    Do hope Elby gets well soon. How cute, Pig having a girlfriend!

    Di.xx

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  43. Lovely story Trubes, and a (belated) Happy new year to you and yours.

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I always try to reply to each comment on an individual basis so please pop back, when you have time, as there may be more to learn from either side, i.e. myself and commenter Thank you, Di x

Shaky and Silver Linings.