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Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Ladies and their 'Unmentionables'.

Why is it that ladies of a certain generation are very particular about their 'undies'?
My dear Mum-in- Law would never hang hers out to dry on the washing line in the garden, and placed them discretely on a clothes maiden indoors, out of sight, and of course, always referred to them, as her 'unmentionables'.

My own dear Mama, whenever she stayed with us, always insisted on washing her 'unmentionables' by hand and hanging them to dry on the radiator in her room. This used to drive me potty as I washed everything else for her with the family wash and, I hate washing being hung up to dry on radiators. There was just no way her 'unmentionables' were going to be displayed to all and sundry on a washing line!

I had a lovely Auntie May, who, in her later years, had a mild form of dementia, and was sweetly confused.
She happily,resided in a Nursing Home in Southport, where, she was well cared for until, sadly, she passed away.

Her daughter, my cousin 'Joybells', as she is affectionately known, within the Family, collected her one day from the Nursing home,for her to spend some time with her family at their home in Hertfordshire.
Auntie May settled herself in and unpacked her suit case. Joybells, on assisting her asked her where her undies (panties) were. Whereupon, Auntie May looked rather vague and started to giggle, then toddled off to watch television. 'Oh no, thought Joy, the Care Assistant had forgotten to pack them'.

She phoned the Nursing Home and they were adamant that they had been packed, Joy, by then, was getting increasingly frustrated with the situation, so she more or less 'tore a strip off' the Assistant then dashed out to the nearest Marks and Spencers and purchased Auntie May 12 pairs of old ladies 'unmentionables'. She then, dashed back home to put them away and prepare supper. All this was done in a day of a 450 mile round trip to collect her beloved Mama.

After supper, Joy was putting the new 'undies' in a drawer and opened the wardrobe to put Auntie May's coat away and.... Lo and Behold...there... hanging on individual hangers .... all neatly lined up at the end of the wardrobe....Yes, you've guessed... Auntie May's 'unmentionables.

Poor 'Joybells', then had to eat 'humble pie' and telephone the Nursing home to apologise profusely to the 'ear battered' Care Assistant.
Auntie May thought this was all very funny and couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. She then proceeded to hang up her twelve new pairs of 'unmentionables on a further twelve hangers in the wardrobe, snuggled herself up in bed and fell asleep giggling!
Must be a genetic thing in my family, amongst the ladies 'Knickermania' perhaps?

Just off now to wash my unmentionables and hang them discretely on a radiator.

35 comments:

  1. Ha ha Ha! My dear Gran died whilst washing her unmentionables by hand out in the washhouse :-) Massive heart attack as she scrubbed her smalls...way to go!

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  2. Born in 1900, Gran and her sister were already making/sewing their own smalls by the age of 10.

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  3. One of my mother in laws always came to visit and insisted on spreading her bell tents over the bathroom radiator; not even her own room. She would leave out of date newspapers around and there was always an inquest as to why they had been cleared up before she did the crossword. Jeez

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  4. 'As pants the Hart for cooling streams...'!

    Did I hear a waltz just then...?

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  5. One hopes "they" get dry in time for your holiday! We love Antibes and indeed that whole coastline and anterior regions. There are definitely worse places in which to practise votre francais! Bon Voyage.

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  6. At the sheltered gated community in Arizona where the 87 year old mother of a friend resides, there is a rule whereby residents are not allowed to hang washing outside. They all have tumbledryers in the garage. This in a state where if you left a soggy bathtowel in a heap outside it would be bone dry in an hour.

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  7. All women suffering dementia should wear C&A knickers. They're clearly marked so as to avoid putting them on the wrong way round.

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  8. I am a bit worried about EK. Has he been doing a Father Ted in Lingerie?

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. The answer is, trubes, to go about the place in the manner of the present crop of "celebrities", i.e. knickerless. That way the unmentionables stay safely out of sight in the shop.

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  11. I could have sworn that C&A closed down years ago. Has it really been that long since Kev went shopping for "ladies' items"?

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  12. Cute story. I can just see that old lady snuggling in bed and giggling to herself. :D

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  13. I always liked a Knicker Bocker Glory myself.

    My favorite item on the menu at the local Wimpy.

    I learned at a early age not to buy any unmentionables for my sweetie. As we men, really buy the most useless items ( special lingerie) only for ourselves and not the comfort of our spouse. So they usually end up in the back of a cupboard somewhere or first recycle bin. IMHO that is. I still look though and ponder.

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  14. Well Trubes,

    I post a serious story about the problems important decision makers have to face on my blog and get four comments (one of them was yours and one of them was my own FFS!)

    You post a comment about an elderly ladies "smalls" and get 13 in the blink of an eye.

    That is why The Lakelander Emporium of Tat PLC has appointed you as Director of Marketing with immediate effect.

    You clearly have the edge over me.

    RESPECT

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  15. Hi 'Lilith: I'd forgotten the expression, smalls'. My sister uses that for her undies, and she's any thing but small, in fact she's rather large. this is the sister who lives in Brittany and has a zest for the wonderful cuisine of that region, particularly the crèpes.....Naughty but nice!


    Betty Swallocks:
    Welcome to my site and thanks for your comments. It seems that Knickermania was not unique to the old ladies in my family then !


    Scroblene:
    'As pants the heart for cooling streams'....Hillarious...that made me laugh.
    Wasn't the next line,
    'When heated in the chase'
    Maybe that's why the old ladies were so fastidious about their unmentionables, for fear of getting caught with un-laundered unmentionables on!


    Hello Grumpy Granny:
    Yes all the small's are dry and being packed as we speak....Antibes here we come...Whoo Whoooo.


    Electro:
    Ha ha very funny, the old ones are the best. As pointed out by GG C&A closed down many years ago or do you 'country bumkins' in the West Country, still have a C&A's ?


    Tuscan:
    Good point about being 'knickerless' in Antibes....sounds like a title for a saucy best seller....hmmm..
    Wouldn't like to do it when The Mistral is blowing though!



    Leslie:
    Hi and thanks for your comments. Auntie may was always a giggler, particularly when she and my Mama had had a couple of sherries!



    Di.xxx

    P.S. will post some more replies later, just 'dashing away with the smoothing iron' in readiness for the holiday!

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  16. Nooo !

    I really didn't realise that C&A had closed. My time to be 'Man Form C & A' never did come.

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  17. Di, that was great...gave me a chuckle, just remembering my grandma and how she was with hers...she and my aunt bob (her real name was ruth but everyone called her aunt bob even if they weren't related) lived together and my grandma thought aunt bob was a hussy because she would dry her undies in the dryer with her other clothes instead of separating them and hanging them in the "hanging closet" which was specifically for "those things"...i dry most but hang the lacy ones...we no longer have a line outside but to be honest never hung my "special ones" out there as i didn't want to freak out my neighbors...or get invitations i didn't want to accept :)

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  18. grumpy but non voyeuristic grandad29 May 2008 at 22:33

    For all the voyeurs interested in ladies' undergarments, Theo explains why it is not a god idea to hang anything on the line

    here: http://thelastofthefew.blogspot.com/2008/05/that-could-be-tad-embarrassing.html

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  19. It comes over all dark when I hang mine. The neighbours think the sun has gone behind a cloud

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  20. Hello to all my friends. So sorry, but, I havn't time to reply to all the wonderful comments from you, I'm just out of time before the holiday. I promise I'll catch up with you all when we return from Antibes.

    Stay well and be happy my friends.

    Speak to you soon when, I hope I can regale you all with some amusing and perhaps, interesting holiday yarns!

    Di.xxx

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  21. Thanks for the advertising over on Guido's blog, Trubes.

    Enjoy your holidays!

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  22. Hope you have a great time on holiday Trubes x

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  23. EK need panic not - C&A is still thriving in Germany. I'm sure I can pick him up some undies next time I am there.

    My granny used to use a pair of old knickers to wipe around her bath. It used to make me feel very ill. I am sure she washed them first - but they were very grey.

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  24. Have a nice Holiday Trubes. Email when you get back.

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  25. Hope you have a great holiday Trubes.

    You lucky people !

    xx

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  26. Trubes

    Just seen your post on the P Blog.

    Send P your address 'cos I is coming ta get ya.

    Where shall we go?

    ...no that's not right...

    ...going to kidnap you .....so the choice is mine....

    How does Italy sound??

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  27. trubes- glad you are back. check out holiday pictures on blog . talk to you soon.

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  28. hello Mr Pineapples, Elctro and Old Tarf. Yes, indeed I'm back and had a lovely holiday too.
    Must get another post up but lacking inspiration at present.

    I guess it's called post holiday blues.

    Di.xxx

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  29. Lovely story. I thought I'd already commented. Here in Sicily some people still think it's rude to hang out women's underwear to dry where it can be seen, but it's OK to put men's out!

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  30. My unmentionables, sadly, must be washed and hung out for all to see.

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  31. Hello Welshcakes....Yes, I thought you'd commented too! Thanks for your comments. I must get around to posting a new little yarn..
    Still having a few problems with my back and taking the wretched steroids etc...I feel like an old junkie.... Sometimes the side-effects are worst than the condition!
    Hope your ankle is getting better.

    Love to you, and Simi, from all of us in sunny Liverpool xxx

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  32. Hello to Lord James Bigglesworth:

    'Tis indeed an honour to have an enobled person commenting on my humble site.

    I'm sure that your 'unmentionables' will be of the finest quality and any discerning lady would be delighted to 'hang them out' for all and sundry to see!

    Di.xx

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  33. Madam Trubes, Your presence is requested urgently chez Tatcorp Ltd for a union meeting on Monday. Besides which, some French bloke says he wants to see your legs.

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  35. Great story. I don't think it is only old ladies for yesteryear who do that. I only hang out sexy lingerie on one line[which can be viewed] and the grottier ones have a private line nestled under tree boughs.If those do get spied upon, by coming around the side of our place- I make out they're my mothers and point out the sexy ones are obviously mine. :)

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I usually like to reply to your comments but for some reason when i do post a reply it just diappears, any advice would be most welcome,Thanks Di x

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